I am not going to pretend to be someone who actively has hot takes on movies but I figured hey, why not try out this newsletter staple. Full disclosure, I don’t really think what I will be saying is going to be that revolutionary. However, this feels easier than texting individual friends “Hey, did you watch May-December?” and eagerly waiting for a response.
So on that note… May December. My first instinct is to hate what people love. I am not proud of this. I am not usually contrarian, but I just am full of weary and doubt. I am someone who has never seen Game of Thrones, despite the hype. I saw a tweet recently that said that people who still have never seen Game of Thrones to this day are the strongest people out there, never even tuning in for one second to see what the fuss is about. To me, this confirms something I’ve always known about myself: I’ll never accidentally, or purposely, join a cult. This is comforting.
Anyway, back to May December. It may be one of my favorite movie outings as of late. I had to switch my seat twice because it was Thanksgiving weekend and I went alone and mothers wanted to sit with their daughters (it wasn’t an assigned seat movie theater, how quaint!). I don’t mind that families wanted to sit together, but I am amazed at how many families wanted to *watch* it together. I would never watch this movie with my parents, but that’s because I’ll never watch a movie that implies that sex even remotely exists when I am with them, let alone a movie with, spoiler alert, butt and possibly some full frontal? You’ll have to pause it on Netflix to confirm on the latter, which I am sure many people will do without even being told.
Anyway, the movie itself. I absolutely loved it. It was just the right amount of camp to be interesting yet not too much camp that it can’t also be award bait and that is no easy feat. My favorite part of the movie, however, is not any specific line or scene as a whole, but it is actually the walking choices of Natalie Portman. There are two scenes where she walks very weirdly and I just know she has a reason. She absolutely made a choice. Her character, a narcissistic TV actress, does not walk fully human-like. One scene is through the grass, possibly mud, with Charles Melton. Perhaps it was because her character was wearing heals, but it seemed more complex than that. It felt like she was on stilts, or maybe more accurately, it felt like she was learning to walk in that very moment. It reminded me of when a baby giraffe plops out of its mother at birth and wobbles around, discovering in real time the magic of legs. Regardless of how this choice came about, I loved every second of it. The other scene that showcased this was more of a silhouette shadow shot, you’ll know when you see it, of her carrying something across the room. Her posture upright, nearly too upright, the type of upright that only a sociopath is capable of.
Now to a movie that I loved… far less. Saltburn. Everyone else is shitting on this so there isn’t much more to say but what I will say is somewhat a spoiler alert so if you don’t want anything ruined, skip to the next paragraph. Ready? Okay. Here’s the thing, I am not necessarily anti-grave fucking, but just make me understand more why someone is doing it. Make me understand the character on a deeper level, especially if he is about to be peen-deep in some dirt. The second thing I will say… why Superbad? I want to know the choice but I also know the answer will never satisfy me.
I also just recently watched The Holdovers. It was fine? It is a movie I could watch with my dad that isn’t about war and that in and of itself is a win. I think every few years, a white man will try and channel his inner Salinger despite the world having moved on. Good for them, I guess?
Now on to TV. The Curse. I mean, I don’t know. I am going to keep watching. It’s interesting. The acting is good. The concept is great. It makes me feel weird, I like feeling weird. But I don’t really know what else to say? Stay tuned for more.
The Golden Bachelor. We watched the finale last night. My biggest takeaway is that Leslie said the final rose ceremony dress was $60k. Is that true? Can someone confirm that for me? Feels like too much. I didn’t realize a dress could cost that much? Which seems naive of me now that I think about it. I will say… the show made me incredibly sad. I don’t mind seeing millennials be rejected by love, but seeing someone who is the age of your parents getting heartbroken and then a camera just lingers on them for minutes while they cry? Is this elder abuse? The show is theoretically pitched as a heartwarming show that prides itself on the idea that old people can still find love, only to break the hearts of 21 of the 22 contestants. Feels like a high price of elder heartbreak to showcase old love.
Outside of watching things, I have bravely attempted to get back into my literacy era. And by that I mean, I have started 5 books all at the same time. These books include: Yellowface, Doppleganger, The God of Small Things, and just a light historical non-fiction read about Partition in India. If anyone has book recommendations, please send my way. My goal is to start no less than 10 books at once, never finish them, then buy 10 more books and continue the cycle until I die. And when I die I want every one of my living friends to finish each book for me. Specifically, I want them to read it out loud, at my grave. Please consider this a formal addition to my will.
That is all I have for now. Remember to pay your rent <3